Discernment Counseling

If you or your spouse are considering divorce but are not completely sure that's the best path, you are in a tough spot. Discernment Counseling is designed for you. 

It's a chance to slow down, take a breathe, and look at options for your marriage. 

Discernment Counseling is a new way of helping couples where one person is "leaning out" of the relationship---and not sure that regular marriage counseling would help--and the other is "leaning in"---that is, interested in rebuilding the marriage. 

I can help you decide whether to try to restore your marriage to health, move toward divorce, or take time and decide later. 

The goal is for you to gain clarity and confidence about a direction, based on a deeper understanding of your relationship and its possibilities for the future. 

Discernment Counseling goal is not to solve your marital problems but to see if they are solvable. You will be treated with compassion and respect no matter how you are feeling about your marriage at the moment. No bad or good side. 

You will come in as a couple but the most important work occurs in the one-to-one conversations with me. These conversations are important because you are starting out in different places. 

I will respect your reasons for divorce while trying to open up the possibility of restoring the marriage to health. I will help you understand the importance of your own contributions to the problems in your marriage and at the same time the possible solutions. Knowing this, will be helpful in future relationships even if this one ends.  

NUMBER OF SESSIONS: A maximum of 5-7 counseling sessions. The first session is usually 2 hours and subsequent at 1-1.5 hours. 

DISCERNMENT COUNSELING IS NOT SUITED FOR THESE SITUATIONS: ~~~When one spouse has already made a final decision to divorce. ~~~When one spouse is coercing the other to participate ~~~When there is danger of domestic violence